Speakers: Maritess Bott & Tami (Tamaira) Suwanski
Maritess:
Hello everyone, welcome to our podcast today. I’m Maritess Bott from Bott & Associates and I’m joined by one of our esteemed paralegals, Tami Suwanski. Say hello, Tami.
Tami:
Hello, thank you so much Maritess.
Maritess:
Today I thought it would be good to share a little about the experience Tami had with her mom’s estate. One of the reasons she joined our team is because of this experience. She faced challenges but now has insight into what could have been improved. That’s what we try to share with prospects and clients—what can be done so your family has an easier experience when someone passes. It’s already a sad and emotional time, and adding complexity is not worth it if it can be avoided. Our mantra has always been to make sure your family goes through an easy process in times of death or disability. You have to do that with intention and planning, while you’re still healthy and able to make decisions.
So Tami, first tell us what you do in our office and introduce yourself.
Tami:
My name is Tami. I help with probate here in our office. My own experience with my mother has made me passionate about helping people avoid probate if possible, or at least educating them on what probate looks like and their options to avoid it.
My mother died very unexpectedly and very young in 2014. She had lived in Nashville most of her life and owned her home. She had a will created in Tennessee and also had a trust in place there. But when she moved to Texas with her new husband, she never transferred her home into her trust. She was only in Texas for one month before she passed away.
I was the executor because I was the oldest child. Her will was not legal in Texas, and because the home wasn’t in the trust, my brother and I had to go through probate. The state of Texas ultimately decided how her estate was divided. Her husband stayed in the house until he passed away five years later. During that time, my brother and I paid homeowners insurance and taxes. When we sold the house, the proceeds were divided 50/50 between his estate and my brother and me, representing my mom’s estate.
That division was not what my mother wanted. Based on our conversations, she wanted to make sure her husband was cared for, but ultimately she wanted the house to go to my brother and me equally.
Maritess:
So when they bought the house in Texas, do you know if she or her husband funded it?
Tami:
Her house in Tennessee was fully paid for. I wasn’t involved in the Texas purchase, but I’m fairly positive she funded it.
Maritess:
This brings us to something we often discuss with clients—blended family scenarios. When one spouse passes, there can be unintended consequences if the surviving spouse remarries or is influenced by others. It’s important to plan so that your assets go where you want them to. What advice would you give to people who may not understand these risks?
Tami:
After going through that, my husband and I immediately put a trust in place so our children will never experience what I did. It wasn’t just the house—we had to deal with banks, financial institutions, and each time I had to pull out a death certificate and explain the situation. It was awful.
It’s not only about blended families. It’s about making sure your legacy is carried forward the way you want. My mom thought she had time and didn’t realize how important it was to update paperwork. You can’t go backwards.
Maritess:
Exactly. Often people assume they’ll have time to transfer property into a trust, but anything can happen unexpectedly. If your home isn’t in the trust, your instructions won’t be followed. Beyond the money, probate takes time and emotional energy. I always wish I could have guided families sooner so they could avoid it.
Blended families can be especially vulnerable—sometimes remarriages happen quickly, or even under questionable circumstances. That’s why we say, put ironclad plans in place around your assets. You worked too hard to accumulate them.
Tami:
And I strongly encourage having open conversations with loved ones. I knew my mother’s intentions because we talked, but because of state law and paperwork, it didn’t matter. If you don’t have those conversations, surprises can happen later.
Maritess:
That’s a great point. A lot of people are afraid to talk about death or share details about assets. But it’s important to at least communicate your wishes—not necessarily dollar amounts, but the structure of how things should be divided, and also your preferences for healthcare if you’re incapacitated.
Tami:
Exactly.
Maritess:
Any final thoughts?
Tami:
Anytime you have a major life change—like moving states, buying a new home, or getting married—make sure your estate plan is updated. Whoever helped my mom should have asked, “Do you have a trust? Let’s transfer the property.” That didn’t happen, and the consequences were huge. Please contact your estate planning attorney—hopefully it’s Maritess—and review your plan every three to five years. A lot can change in that time.
Maritess:
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Tami. And thank you to our listeners. I hope this gives you valuable information to help protect your family. See you next time.
