How to Know if You Need Extra Help With Your Grieving
Based on concepts from Mary Ann and James P. Emswiler
- Have you noticed yourself becoming consistently irritable, impatient, or quick to anger lately?
- Are you feeling disconnected from yourself or others, as if you’re going through life in a fog? Do you sense that there’s nobody you can really talk with about your loss?
- Following your loved one’s death, have you found yourself constantly worried about dying or losing someone else close to you? Has this fear started affecting your relationships, your focus, or your daily life?
- Even though months have passed since the death, do thoughts of your loved one or how they died still occupy most of your attention throughout the day?
- Do you feel like you can’t sit still or that you need to stay busy all the time, more than what was typical for you before?
- Have you started avoiding new relationships because you’re scared of experiencing loss again?
- Have you noticed yourself doing things that could be harmful: drinking more alcohol than before, increasing your use of medications or drugs, making risky sexual choices, driving carelessly (more than usual for you), or thinking seriously about ending your life?
- Have you taken on what feels like too much caring for other family members or friends? While this varies by situation, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, resentful, or trapped by these responsibilities, it may be time to seek support.
- Does your grief seem incomplete or limited somehow? Perhaps you’re experiencing only certain emotions, or you can’t seem to talk about or express what you’re feeling. Maybe you remember only specific parts of your loved one or your time together, rather than seeing them as a whole person with both positive and challenging qualities.
- Is there something about your grief that makes you question whether what you’re going through is normal? Do you feel unable to move forward, even though considerable time has passed since the death?
Above all, trust what you’re feeling. If you think speaking with a counselor could be beneficial, reach out to one or several professionals to find someone you connect with. Work with whoever feels right for you. Grief is difficult enough without trying to manage it alone.
