Challenges Of A Blended Family In Probate

Speakers: Maritess Bott and Unidentified Off-Camera Speaker

Off-camera Speaker:

Hello, Maritess. Can you tell us a little bit about the challenges of a blended family in probate?

Maritess:

Hello everyone. Thank you so much for watching or listening to our episode today. We have a great topic—blended families—which always seems to be a bit challenging, not only in estate planning but, more importantly, when planning hasn’t been done. A family can go through some serious challenges figuring that out.

I’ll give an example today. One of my clients was the surviving spouse in a blended family. In 2020, her husband passed away. He did not leave a will—no documents whatsoever. He had two children from a previous marriage. They didn’t have kids together. She has her own kids, and he had his own kids. Very classic blended family.

The husband owned an apartment building where they lived in one unit, and there were several rental units. According to my client, there were already challenges in the relationship with his children from the previous marriage. He had some connection with them, but not a close one. My client, the surviving spouse, really didn’t have a strong connection with them either—but she had to, once he passed.

Upon his death, we found out that no documents had been created. She lived in the home, which was owned by him individually. There were some bank accounts outside of the real estate, but otherwise, that’s all the decedent owned—real estate and some bank accounts.

We opened a probate estate thinking she would be appointed as what we call here in Illinois an Independent Administrator. We had to notify the children from the previous marriage, letting them know the estate was being opened and she would be the administrator.

Within a week—this was in 2020—we got notice that the daughter had hired an attorney and wanted to be the administrator herself. We went to court and ended up with what is called Supervised Administration instead of Independent Administration, which means everything my client does has to be approved by the judge.

Long story short, there was a lot of back-and-forth and fighting between the children from the previous marriage and my client. She did her best to be the landlord, take care of the tenants, and manage the property. During the marriage, this was her husband’s role. Now she was trying to figure it out on her own, keeping the property running and the tenants happy.

She wasn’t sure whether she was going to sell the property, and with COVID, it was even more challenging. Eventually, she sold it last year and was ready to close the estate.

Now, the challenge is that it was already difficult to get her appointed. It was also a challenge to deal with the children from the previous marriage and determine how much each person would receive. According to the statute, 50% goes to the surviving spouse and 50% to the surviving children. That sounds reasonable—but the reality was constant questioning: “What did you spend money on?” “Why did you spend it on that?” “What happened to this asset?” “Why didn’t I get this?”

A lot of back-and-forth between family members who weren’t close to begin with. We were about to go to trial, which would have involved more court appearances and legal fees. Fortunately, we were able to come to a settlement. Everyone agreed, and we were able to finally close the estate—three years after the decedent passed.

I bring this up because this is the aftermath of what happens in a blended family. Had the decedent written out his wishes—“I want this property to go to my spouse,” or whoever—then we would’ve known exactly what his intentions were. We wouldn’t have had to go through any of this.

If anything, he should have created what is called a Living Trust. He could have put the property into the trust and kept everything private. No one would have had to be notified. If his wish was to give everything to his surviving spouse, we could have done that seamlessly. Or he could have said, “A portion goes to my spouse, a portion to my kids,” and spelled out exactly what it was.

It would have been cheaper—no need to pay two lawyers or go through court processes. It would have taken less time—not three years. If everything was going to go to the surviving spouse, we wouldn’t have had to deal with the children from the previous marriage at all.

And then, of course, it’s public record. Now everyone knows this estate was opened. Anyone could have filed a claim. Luckily, in this case, no claims were filed, and we were able to close it.

The moral of the story is: plan ahead.

This is a very common fact pattern—surviving spouse versus children from a previous marriage. It’s very common for people to fight over what the decedent really wanted. Often, the relationships are estranged, and the decedent may not have wanted the money to go to the children from the previous marriage. But we don’t know, because there was nothing to go by. We just had the statute, and that’s what we had to follow.

At the end of the day, planning, planning, planning is important. Do it right. Don’t just let it happen and assume that everyone’s going to have your best interest at heart, that everyone’s going to play nice and accept whatever they’re “supposed to accept.”

This particular estate I’m discussing could have been much worse. We could have been in court a lot more, with much higher legal costs. But even as it was, it took a long time and was costly.

Between the two lawyers involved—remember, this estate only included a real estate property and some bank accounts—the legal fees were about $20,000. That’s a lot of money that could have gone to the surviving spouse or to the family, rather than to lawyers.

Just a tip to blended families: Please, please, please come see me. Let’s talk about your situation. Let’s prevent the fighting and save some of the money you’ve worked so hard for. Let’s make sure it goes to the people you want it to go to.

If you have any questions, come by the office or call us. We’ll be happy to set up an appointment and chat with you.

Again, I’m Maritess Bott of Bott & Associates. Thanks for watching or listening to our podcast. Have a great day.